High stress times

Strength to Face our Emotions in Stressful Times

During turbulent times, stress is rampant and feelings are potent. The pandemic, political divide and racial tensions, each add their own traumatic turbulence. Emotions may swing widely as we ride the rapids. As Fred Rogers aka Mister Rogers says, “Confronting our feelings and giving them appropriate expression always takes strength, not weakness … It takes strength to acknowledge our anger, and sometimes more strength yet to curb the aggressive urges anger may bring and to channel them into nonviolent outlets … It takes strength to face our sadness and to grieve and to let our grief and our anger flow in tears when they need to. It takes strength to talk about our feelings and to reach out for help and comfort when we need it.”

Because we are living in high stress these days, there is a strong impact on our nervous system. The sympathetic and parasympathetic are two branches of our nervous system which are automatic and not in our direct control. In general, our sympathetic nervous system controls fight or flight. When our sympathetic nervous system is activated, we may feel anxious, afraid or angry. Our parasympathetic nervous system controls our freeze or “deer in the headlight” reactions. When this is activated, we may feel tired, unmotivated, sleepy or sluggish. These branches are designed to protect us in a life threatening crisis. Therefore, during trauma these automatic systems take over.

As emotions surge, during traumatic turbulence, it is more important than ever to acknowledge what arises and give it some attention and compassion. By saying “hello” to our feelings, we are respecting what is here now. And yes, it takes strength. By showing the courage to be with our emotions in the present moment, we can move forward.

The sympathetic and parasympathetic systems may be automatic but we can influence them. Some ways follow to balance and stabilize our nervous system. Take slow, deep breaths. As Mr. Rogers says, “reach out for help and comfort”. We can be with each other in many ways that are helpful and comforting. Spend time with people who are supportive of you. Seek out where you have the power of choice. Notice where you have control and act. Bring art and music into your life. Spend time in nature. Explore what brings you meaning and purpose. Experiment by trying something new. Try meditation, yoga or Qigong. Rest. Restore. Have fun. Be kind to yourself.

In summary, during times of high stress, emotions are likely to be intense and swing wildly. Just recognizing and accepting this is helpful as we strive for the strength to acknowledge and respect what comes. In addition, creating the space to take care of ourselves helps us safely ride the turbulent rapids of high stress and change.